TALKING ON THE PHONE, FLIRTY? OR FRIENDLY? By Natali Perera
How much talking is too much talking? How do you know, when they’re calling you as a friend, and when they’re calling you because they want to hear about your day? This is such a fine line.
Personally, I feel like if talking exceeds to once a day, then there may be some feelings involved. I mean, I don’t even talk to my best friends every day…if you think about calling someone after work, when you’re driving or when you’re bored then you should be thinking about why you want to talk to them so much, because I don’t think you just want to call in a friendly way anymore, you want to call in a freeeeeendly way. If you catch my drift.
Now days, with social media and texting, there isn’t really any reason why people would need to call unless it was an emergency. So even now, subtly exchanging numbers and getting that call is a pretty exciting thing. My friend (for the purpose of this article, let us call her) Jenny, is currently seeing a boy, they are both in the ‘getting to know each other’ phase. She called me the other day to update me on what has been going on. She said that last week they had not been able to catch up with one another but they talked for the first time on the phone for 2 hours! That is a long time! I squealed on phone because I was so excited for her.
But as far back as I can remember, getting a phone call from your crush was a BIG THING. Before mobiles, they would have to get your home phone number, call your house, possibly speak to a member of your family “Hi is Stacy home, this is Nathan, we go to school together”, you would finely get the phone, but your family would be keeping table on the duration of the call, and maybe even if you had two phones, your siblings would be listening in through the other phone.
Even in tv shows! It was such a bit thing for the main character to be getting a call from their crush, they would talk for hours! Daily! And eventually, it was just a given that they would receive a call at 6pm.
See now what happens when the calls stop? This is when things start to get confusing. I mean, everything was going well. You have been calling the same amounts as they have, it has been consistent. You have been exchanging laughs, talking about interesting thing, but then suddenly, nothing. I mean you could always call, but you don’t want to look desperate, and they have a phone too, they could call if they wanted. You are literally stuck in a rut.
I usually land on one of the next three options
- Don’t call them. Just see what happens, he may be busy. But if you don’t call, this may give you a chance to see if they eventually call you. However, you do risk the chance of not getting a ring, in which case you both may have been waited for each other and nether of you made the move so the chance of having a great conversation was missed.
- You send them a text. Just to see how they reply back, usually, when someone has gone all quiet after being so open it’s because something is going on, this may be related to you, or it may not be. But regardless, it’s something that is consuming their thoughts enough for them to not feel like talking to you. A quick text allows you to sus them out, see how they respond and if they sound different, maybe just let it be, don’t force anything. If things sound normal, slip in a “let me know when you’re free, I have a story to tell you” and that way the ball is in their court.
- Call them. They aren’t going to bite you through the phone! The most they might do is hang-up or let it ring into voicemail, either way, you tried. Someone not picking up the phone is not the end of the world. Just think of it as you have more time to do the things that you would have originally been doing, and they just missed out on a fab conversation with you!
So, if you’re someone who is interesting is someone as more than a friend, if things are going well, don’t be afraid to call them, and if you’re someone who is trying to find why someone fell off your grid, don’t be afraid to subtly let them know you’re interested, they may just be a bit unsure, your interest may be the push they needed.