SILLY SIGN LANGUAGE – by Desmond Kelly. Did I read this, right ??. TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW. In a Laundromat. AUTO. WASHING MACHINES. PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES, WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT. In a London Department Store. BARGAIN BASEMENT, UPSTAIRS. In an Office. AFTER TEA-BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN, ON THE DRAINING BOARD. In the window of a health-food shop. CLOSED, DUE TO ILLNESS. Spotted in a Safari-park. ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR. In a Farmer’s field. FARMER PERMITS WALKERS TO CROSS FARM FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES. In a library. IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS. At a Repair shop. WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING !. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR, AS THE BELL DOESN’T WORK). FYI. RUSSIA BOASTS 120.000 CONTENTED RESIDENTIAL BROWN BEARS, AS A BARE MINIMUM. SRI LANKA HAS ...

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“LAMPRAIS TO THE FORE” – by Des Kelly With so much confusion or lack of information out there, these days, almost anything wrapped up in a banana leaf is being passed on, as a Lamprais. So instead of repeatedly explaining this, I decided to do a permanent “post” about it, in the interest of correcting any misconceptions that exist. Lamprais are quintessentially a Dutch Burgher delicacy. Just in case anyone does not comprehend the two words “Dutch-Burgher”, I will explain this as well. When the Dutch took over the Island of Ceylon in 1640, the “Dutchies” became Burghers, because a “Burgh” in the Queen’s English was simply a Town, Suburb, or “Place of residence”, to put it briefly. That explained, let me get on with these bloody Lamprais, one of their most favourite delicacies. ...

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“MEMORIES ARE MADE OF THESE” – by Des Kelly   “You will never grow old, while there’s love in your heart”  What more can I say. This video speaks for itself. Unfortunately, once again, no-one knows who is responsible for this most interesting VIDEO/STORY. Desmond Kelly. (Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka. ...

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“LAWYERS PERSONIFIED” – by Des Kelly A great little story sent in by Keith Bennett, to be enjoyed by our e’Lanka readers as a brief but extremely amusing tale, set in a Courthouse, of course, because it is here that most of them hang out. Not much more that I can say except thank you Keith, for this law-story. Desmond Kelly. (Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka. ...

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“THE CEYLON I KNEW” – by Des Kelly What better reading could there be ?. I am sure that each and every e’Lankan who, for various regrettable reasons, had to leave the CEYLON they knew, will have memories to cherish for the rest of their lives. Sure, there would be sad memories intermingled with the happy ones, perhaps parents and grand-parents as well as other close relatives they had to leave behind, for various reasons, will often come to mind, but then connection through memory is the only possible avenue of sharing that special love, even though far apart. As I have always said (and written), no amount of financial assets could even be compared with precious memories. Personally, the first 26 years of my life in Ceylon were so special, although I have more than doubled that life in Australia, thinking back to the good old days of practically ...

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Occupational nicknames – by Des Kelly Totally different “little piece” coming into e’Lanka via our good friend Keith Bennett, via one of his good friends Ralph Baker, obviously. As Ralph puts it, whoever has had a steady job in Oz., would have had the memorable occasion of meeting up/with one of the characters mentioned. Thank you Keith (and Ralph, of course), for this most amusing “post” on Occupational nicknames. Desmond Kelly. (Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka.   Occupational nicknames EVERY WORKPLACE IN AUSTRALIA HAS ONE THESE CHARACTERS ‍️ Under the headline Nicknames for Co-workers, it lists the titles applied to annoying colleagues and their bad habits. From “the sensor light” to “the bushranger”, the list seems to have covered just about every kind of police workplace pest. But, let’s face it, anyone who has ever held down a job has been stuck with some or all of these characters. They are: G-spot: you can never ...

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A CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS – by Des Kelly Photo source: The Australian Hurrah !!, finally we receive what we could honestly term BREAKING NEWS, and because she really was seen as Hurrah !!, finally we receive what we could honestly term BREAKING NEWS, and because she really was seen as A CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS, I decided to write this. A..SHLEIGH BARTY, YOU’RE A STAR, S..HINING AROUND AUSTRALIA, H..AVING NOW, “WORLD TITLE”, NUMBER ONE, B. Y RETIRING “AT THE TOP”, A. ND KNOWING EXACTLY WHERE TO STOP, R. EALLY PROVES THE POINT, WHEN ALL IS SAID & DONE. T. ENNIS WAS YOUR FAVOURITE GAME, Y. ES, IT WAS THIS, THAT BROUGHT YOU FAME, HOWEVER, NOT THE ONLY REASON WE LOVE YOU, NOW, WHAT I’D LIKE TO SAY, ON YOUR RETIREMENT DAY, GOOD LUCK, WITH WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE TO DO.   Photo source:abc.net.au   Desmond Kelly. (Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka. ...

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“OLD FOLKS AT HOME” – by Des Kelly We often use the phrase, the good old days, and they certainly were, as far as I can remember. This post might well have already been out on e’Lanka, but it deserves a repeat for all us oldies who have quite possibly forgotten the original posting Thank you, Keith Bennett for sending it in. I have added an old musical backdrop to this story too, so please enjoy. Desmond Kelly. (Editor-in-Chief). e’Lanka. ...

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“THE SOUND OF SILENCE” The truly adequate title of a recording “hit” of it’s era, by Simon & Garfunkel, and the story behind the song, sent in to us at e’Lanka, so a very big “Thank you” to Charles Schokman from all our readers who fully understand the value of any interesting story/stories such as these. Desmond Kelly. (Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka. A Grim Reminder & The Sound Of Silence A humane act  of Today I read a very beautiful story, which I decided to share. It is the story of a poor boy, an American of a Jewish family, from Buffalo, who wins a scholarship at Columbia University. There, he befriends a boy who turned out to be a great friend, and his roommate. But in his freshman year of college, watching a baseball game, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he went blind.  The doctor said it was conjunctivitis ...

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“MUSIC HATH CHARMS” – by Des Kelly This comes to us happily, from Keith Bennett via Charmaine, who has a collection of videos that help us forget the unhappy World around us, if just for a while. On behalf of e’Lanka, I would like to thank both Charmaine and Keith, and advise all our readers out there to spend a few minutes watching what Mother Nature has provided us ordinary humans, to the beautiful back-up Music of the Blue Danube by Johanne Strauss jnr., proving indeed that MUSIC HATH CHARMS. Desmond Kelly. (Editor-in-Chief) eLanka. ...

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