Why I took time off – Steven Smith-

by VIKUS VAN DER SMURF

Colombo – Hotel of the Australian Cricket Team & Bandaranayake International Airport:
In the aftermath of the continual criticism of Australian Cricket Captain Steven Smith being rested & sent home to freshen up, our local investigative journalist and cricket connoisseur, Vikus Van Der Smurf, has found the true reasoning behind the baffling decision.
On 25 August Cricket Australia announced that Captain Steven Smith would not be taking any further part of the 10 week Sri Lankan tour and will be sent home to freshen up prior to the high stakes series during the coming home summer. This caused quite an uproar among former Australian as well as international legends however coach Boof Lehman defended the decision saying it would give current vice captain David Warner good opportunity to lead the team if the need ever arises.

Bewildered by the decision we decided to look in to it further. And now the real reasoning behind Steven Smith’s departure has been revealed. Our correspondent, the ever so exclusive Vikus, managed to track the departing Australian skipper to the Qantas Lounge at the Bandaranayake international airport and struck up a casual conversation. We are unable to bring you the full extent of the words that transpired, due to various reasons, however the main rationale behind the decision is the Australian Captain has been a) fully traumatized by Left Arm Spin, b) Somewhat traumatized by Spin bowling in general.

After being dismissed 8 out of 8 times by spin bowling in the tour, 5 times by left arm spin maesteo Rangana Herath, once by new comer Amila Aponso and twice by off spinner Dilruwan Perera, Smith has been mentally traumatized by the sight of what is commmonly known as a ‘leather tweaker’. Unbeknown to many, Smith has even refused to share a breakfast table with Australia’s greatest of all time off spin bowler, Nathan Lyon. The situation just kept getting out hand with Smith also allegedly running away from a congregration that included part time spinners Aaron Finch, Travis Head and latest leg spin sensation Adam Zampa.

The situation has had the Aussie coaching staff extremely worried and given the series against Pakistan in December, they thought it best to rest Smith before things got out of hand. It has been surprising that this has occured given Smith started his international career as a leg spinning all rounder himself.
At the airport he seemed far more settled and even mentioned it was great to work with world cricketing legend and bowling record holder Muttaih Muralidaran.
While internally thinking ‘good riddance’ we wish Smith a speedy recovery.
Vikus Vandersmurf is a connoisseur of cricket and a self confessed lover of MS Excel.