READING IS “FUN” (IF YOU FOLLOW THE “PUN”)
by Desmond Kelly ‘the Star of eLanka’
Nowadays, boys & girls (with the exception of a few), seem to have very little time to “read”. I refer to “books” here, not the iphones in their hot little hands, sending & receiving breef, ungrammatical, atroshusly spellt mesages from both frens & fos’.I am given to believe that SOME University scholars cannot even compose a “resume” that could possibly get them a job. Mr.Gonski is as shocked as I am. His “schooling methods” are fine, but he should also insist that each “wannabe” Parliamentarian read at least two good books before they are permitted entry into any University in Australia One could be “What is War good for”? by Leo Tolstoy’s younger brother Noel & the other being the entire works of William Shakespeare, taking a “full term”, paid for, by the parents of the student.
Because I love music so much, & have been extremely “honoured” with the “title” of Mr.Music, and also because I respect “Country music” & want “reading” to be “fun”, especially for the younger ones, my recent “brief articles” consist of everything to do with “good music”, intelligent lyrics, that tell “the story of life”. Firstly, I would like my readers to “read-into” the “pun-filled, fun” reading of this old “Classic”,
“Mamma’s little baby loves shortenin bread” Use your loaf for this one. It will roll off your tongue & you will feel butter for it. Don’t forget that I knead the dough also.
Les Dawson, former English comic, God rest his soul, once said, “Not many people know this, but, for many years, I was a “Private Eye”, well respected, with two bright pupils. It wasn’t an easy job, let’s face it. Not every Tom or Harry can be a Dick. During my years as an investigator, I had been shot-at, poisoned & stabbed, then mercifully, the wife went back to her mother.
My most baffling case concerned a midget gents’ barber who worked for a lapsed Morman. The tiny hairdresser was so small, his bootlaces caused a rash on his chin & when he pulled his underpants up, he found he was blindfolded. This dwarf had a burning hatred of anyone taller than he was. In particular, he loathed Reginald Maudling, the well-known Politician.
One day, he kidnapped this unfortunate Statesman, strapped him down on a table in a woodshed, took the poor man’s shoes off & started to whittle him away with a “joiner’s plane”. I, (Les), rushed to the sorry scene and tried to talk the midget out of this abominable act. The dwarf merely glared at me and carried on, shaving layers of Maudling’s feet, with evident relish. I backed out of the shed, lookwd at the horrified crowd around me and sang plaintively(thus),
” MORMAN’S LITTLE BARBER LOVES SHORTENIN
MAULDING, MORMON’S LITTLE BARBER LOVES
SHORTENIN REG.”
My next “article” follows this one quickly, another meaningful, melodic, magnificent “Country” hit which, if I didn’t write about,and you, my readers, didn’t watch on “You-Tube” (and PLEASE comment), on it, all I would say would be, WE’RE BOTH TO BLAME!
Desmond Kelly.
“Star of eLanka”.
