“COMEDIES OF ERROR” by Desmond Kelly “the Star of eLanka”

Usually, the other way around, a normal “comedy of errors” would feature one subject, but, in this day & age, so many “comedies” are occurring at the same time, my “phrase” had to be redesigned to suit these comedic situations.

To begin with, when one talks of comedy, automatically, a “Circus Clown” comes into focus mentally. It is a fact that, generally, clowns are happy, gaily-dressed individuals who are especially selected by circus-owners for the purpose of being “funny” and entertaining audiences. A lesser-known fact is that, often, behind the happy, smiling face of the clown, is a man who is stressed-out, sad & suspicious of others around him. The clown is an “actor”, as was James Stewart in “The greatest show on earth”. “Dimples”, the clown was a great example of one, when he was performing, but behind the “mask” he was a sad character, running away from the law for some crime he was involved in earlier on .

Now comes my very first “comedy of errors” for the readers of eLanka & the Lanka Times. It seems that there are now some individuals dressing themselves as CLOWNS, parading the Streets of various Countries, armed with knives, taking their chance to steal from passers-by, at knife-point, I suppose, whatever they can. They are a menace to society, should be quickly arrested and locked up. These CLOWNS are not only sad, they are giving the few really happy ones a very bad reputation. Talking about Clowns & Circuses, When I was around fifteen and a half years old, I ran away from College & home, to join an English Circus that was about to ” tour” Ceylon under contract to Donavan Andree. I joined the “Continental Nonstop Revue” mainly as a guitarist in their band, but was also given some part-time work as a “moyel” to circumcise the circus elephants. To make a long story short, in more ways than one, the pay was”nt much but the “tips” were great!!. The “sad” thing for me was that I also ended up with a “boil” on my “cutting” hand. Just imagine that, folks, A “moyel in the band, with a boil on his hand, he pricks the boil, instead of the other way around & to finish the sad story, everyone ended up happy.

I have to apologise, my dear readers, for the digresson, above. This seems to be my style of writing and if it ha brought a smile to your sad faces, I am one CLOWN who is truly happy.

My second “comedy” us the fact that there are far too many “apologies” floating around at the monent. All the C.E.O’s of the major banks in Australia are apologising all over the place for “cheating” on their customers and not giving them the FULL benefits of the interest-cuts awarded them by the Federal Reserve Bank of this Country. I do feel rather sorry for these gentlemen C.E.O’s. They do have to leave their hard bank-seats EVERY YEAR, in future, to answer questions for a full half-hour (every one of them), on WHY they are not handing out the full “cut”. When the Governor of the R.B. “ups” the Interest, the banks “up”
the full rate with the speed of “Superman” but when the opposite occurs, “Robin” comes in a wee bit slower and his name is spelt “Robbing” & this is NOT a Robin that is smiled upon by bank customers. Anyway, one has to feel some sympathy for the “Heads” of these institutions because, after all, they only take home an annual salary of a few million dollars each. Are we expecting too much of them? .

Why does not the incumbant Government take over and REPLACE all banks with RESERVE BANKS? . This way, once again, everybody will be happy, all interest rates will be strictly adhered to and Australia could end up with a 5 star rating in the Financial World.
Forget about this State bank and that State bank. Give us ONE FEDERAL RESERVE BANK and leave the governing Treasurer in charge. This way, there will be no need for uncomfortable annual “interviews” OR Royal Commissions. Right now, we, the public, could have a Liberal Reserve Bank and who knows? , in a few years it might well be a Labour Reserve Bank. Please do not imagine that I have spelt LABOUR wrong.

I really do think that we should spell our ENGLISH WORDS in English and not in. AMERICAN. Our spelling right now(the “Social Media” being the way it is) is bad enough anyway, so while “Liberal” is correct, I will still refer to the Opposition as “Labour”. This is my choice of course, but should there ever be a Government of a different COLOR (like GREEN, foe example), I will still spell their hue as COLOUR. Means the same, no hassle about that but the Queen’s English means a lot to me.
God save the Queen! .

There will be more “Comedies Of Error”, as time goes by . You must remember this. For now, goodbye, good luck & God bless you.

Desmond Kelly. ” Star of eLanka”.