The oddities of the English language

The oddities of the English language

It seems strange that an International language like English has many various oddities that are strange indeed. Let us now take a few, for starters.

We begin with a “box”& the plural is boxes
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese
You may find a lone mouse in a nestful of mice
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice
If the plural of man is always called men
Why should not the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet
And I give you a boot , would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth
Why should not the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one would be that and there would be those
Yet, hat in the plural would never be hose
And the plural of cat, is cats, not cose
We speak of a brother and also of brethren
But though we say mother, we never say methren
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him
But imagine the feminine, she,, shis and shim

So much for the plurals, yes, so much by far
But now for some “crazy ones”, on “eLanka”

Let’s face it. ENGLISH is a crazy language…….

There is no “egg” in egg-plant, no “ham” in ham-burger
Neither apple or pine in pineapple
English muffins were never invented in England

Now, let us explore some paradoxes.

We find that quicksand usually works very slowly
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea, or is it a pig.
And why is it that writers “write” but fingers don’t “fing”?
Grocers don’t “groce” and hammers don’t “ham”

Does’ nt it seem a little mad that you can make amends
But never one “amend”?

If you had a bunch of odds & ends & got rid of all but one
What are you going to call it? , odds & ends are “false friends”
Don’t need them anymore, the one that is left is simply called “bro”.

If teachers taught, why did’nt preachers praught. ?
If a vegetarian eats only vegetables,
What does a humanitarian eat ?

It gets worse. With all the good points with the English language,
Why do people “recite” at a “play” but play at a “recital”?
We ship by “truck” but send cargo by ship
We have noses that run and feet that smell
And how could “a slim chance” be a “fat chance at the same time?
Why are “wise men” & “wise guys” direct opposites ?

How is it that your house can burn up as it burns down ?
Why do you “fill-in” a form by filling it “out”?
And why does your “alarm” go “off” by going “on”? & finally (for now)

If your father is “Pop”, how come your mother’s not “Mop”!!

Yes, English is a fine International language, but the “oddities” are wide & varied. More will follow, of this great “stuff”
BUT, NOW eLANKANS, I’VE HAD ENOUGH.!!

Desmond (Kelly from Colombo)

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