“THE WONDER OF PONDERISMS” – By Des Kelly
If my memory serves me correctly, this is the 2nd batch of Ponderisms that I have served up for all readers of
eLanka. Anyway, for the want of something to do, rather than be in lockdown, constantly hearing the word Corona-Virus on television, where before, we were inundated with words such as unprecedented and catastrophic, I do suggest that our good readers become even slightly more educated by digesting this important information.
PONDERISMS
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered??
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going?(taxes)
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change??? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
HOW DID THE MAN WHO MADE THE FIRST CLOCK, KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS?
Desmond Kelly.
(Editor-in-Chief) eLanka.
