“GAMBLE RESPONSIBLY” by Desmond Kelly ‘the Star of eLanka’

Except for Politicians, Mining Magnates, C.E.Os, Bank Managers, Casino-Owners, Plumbers & Electricians, most “ordinary Australians” pay their taxes, work long, tiring shifts & still find it difficult to ” manage” comfortably. Nearly everyone though, has a television set, watched whenever possible. Most Aussies & Lankan/Aussies who I know, are gamblers anyway. Watching television nowadays (especially), hardly a few minutes pass, when the above advice comes into view, after the rest of the narrative tells you how much & how easily you could win big money.

     Every day of the week, you can win big money at the Casinos. Every day of the week, there would be a horse-race somewhere & provided the jockey was “light” enough and the horse “fast” enough, again, you could win big money. I don’t gamble too much, but the last horse I had a bet on, at 20-1, came in, at a quarter past 4. Then, forget about the horses, there are always the “grey-hound” racing tracks where, sometimes, “live bait” is used for the hounds to tear up, & if the horses or dogs is not your game, there are “chook-fights” where live roosters tear each other up with their sharp claws, or, unless you wish to go to Spain to watch the bull-fights, where brave matadors stab most bulls to death, maybe one of them (matadors) gets a horn up his arse & is tossed out of the ring, if you are not into any of this, there are always crab or cockroach races where you can win big money, betting on the winner.

     I do feel that someone ought to advertise relevant advice on HOW to gamble responsibly. I am willing to BET that no-one has enough money to “advertise extensively” so I will take it upon myself to advise my readers & Lankan/Aussies everywhere the BEST way they can SAVE MONEY in gambling.
1. Use your bloody WILL-power & say I WON’T gamble. This will be easy enough to do AFTER you’ve LOST money you can ill-afford. Make up your mind to keep $10o r 20 (maximum) per week, from your pay, the pension or dole, for small, affordable bets. If you lose that amount, leave it AT THAT.

2. If you win something, leave that money in a separate account & use that money ONLY for gambling. DO NOT exceed $20,EVER per week no matter how much your winnings are.

     Chances are that you will not be a “winner” short or long term, but, at least, you will not have to borrow money to feed your family. If you are a “winner”, you will still have some money to indulge in your passion for gambling. This said, I still feel that the Government, thru the department authorised, to veto exaggerated “gambling advertising” on television. It certainly does not enhance the lives of the people involved and if anything, tempts weak-minded folk into still another bad habit. 

     Just in case any reader wants to tell me, “o.k., o.k., practise what you preach, Des., I will tell you this.

Yes, folks, I did it all, BUT, as a much younger bloke. 

I started “smoking” at about fifteen, no money to buy the “fags”, but happily joined my good friend David Swan, smoking expensive Ardath, Black & White & Capstan Navy Cut cigarettes that David pinched from the “tins” belonging to his dad, Judge St.Claire Swan. Started there, & continued this rotten habit for many many years. 

Started another bad habit of “drinking” & drinking hard, after joining the Royal Ceylon Navy. Started “chasing” PRETTY wild women” also quite early in life & GAMBLING, whenever I had a bit of spare money from the “drinking” simply to buy a few “presents” for one or two wild women I was dating at the time, until I met my “wife”, after which I had to STOP two bad habits (gambling & chasing), in one hit. I kept smoking & drinking even after arriving in Australia in 1962 but DID use my will-power and stopped both drinking & smoking overnight, nearly 30 years ago. I don’t touch either, now, don’t gamble because I cannot afford to, & cannot chase ANY WOMEN now, because at 81, I couldn’t do it, even if I wanted to. So, there you are folks, the bad, ugly & good, in my case, and if I could do it, I guess anyone CAN.

Desmond Kelly
Star of eLanka.