Right at this very moment, I cannot travel. I don’t mind it it at all but there are members of my families, both in Australia and Canada, however, who absolutely LIVE to travel. Show them an airport and before you know it, they have joined a queue to get tickets to enplane and go somewhere, ANYWHERE, just as long as it is Iternationally. When they get back from their travels, I can well understand why they enjoy this rather expensive hobby so much, because, in addition to “seeing the World”& learning about the history and “cultures” of other peoples, they tell me about the many wonderful “professional signs” they have seen & I would love to share some of these hilarious “works” with my readers because, friends, a smile relaxes every muscle on your face, and I promise that you will feel all the better or it. Here are some of them.
A sign outside a shoe-repair store in Vancouver stated thus. “WE WILL HEEL YOU,
WE WILL SAVE YOUR SOLE, WE WILL EVEN DYE FOR YOU”..
A sign over a famous Gynaecologist’s office door says :- “DR. JONES, AT YOUR CERVIX”
A sign in a Podiatrist’s office simply quotes :- “TIME WOUNDS ALL HEELS”.
At an Optometrist’s office :- “IF YOU DON’T SEE WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR, YOU’VE COME TO THE RIGHT PACE”.
A sign painted on a Plumber’s truck says :- “WE WILL REPAIR WHAT YOUR HUSBAND FIXED”.
Another Plumber’s truck stated :- “DONT SLEEP WITH A DRIP. CALL YOUR PLUMBER”.
At a tyre-shop in Milwaukee :- “INVITE US TO YOUR NEXT BLOWOUT”.
On an Electrician’s truck :- “LET US REMOVE YOUR SHORTS.”
On a Maternity room door :- “PUSH, PUSH, PUSH”.
At a Car Dealership Office, a notice reminds you :-” THE BEST WAY TO GET YOU ON YOUR FEET, MISS A CAR-PAYMENT”.
Outside a Muffler shop :- ” NO APPOINTMENT NECESSARY, WE HEAR YOU COMING”
In a Veterinarian’s waiting room :- “BE BACK IN 5 MINUTES, SIT !, STAY !”
A rather lengthy piece of advice on the front door of an Electric Company:-
“We would be delighted to get your payment on time. If not, YOU will be de-lighted”.
In a restaurant window in Melbourne. :- “DON’T STAND OUT THERE & BE HUNGRY.
COME ON IN & GET FED-UP”.
In the front yard of a Funeral Home :- “DRIVE CAREFULLY. WE’LL WAIT”!
At a Propane gas filling station :-” THANK HEAVEN, FOR LITTLE GRILLS”
In a Chicago Radiator shop :- “BEST PLACE IN TOWN TO TAKE A LEAK”.
Sign at the back of a “Septic -Truck”:- CAUTION.!, THIS TRUCK IS FULL OF POLITICAL PROMISES”!!
I certainly hope that the readers enjoyed this little sojourn into professioal signage.
Desmond (Kelly from Colombo).