“THE UGLY AUSTRALIANS ” by Desmond Kelly “the Star of eLanka!”

“THE UGLY AUSTRALIANS ” by Desmond Kelly “the Star of eLanka!”

There is an e’mail going around at the moment, regarding “the above”. Most Lankans, especially most eLankans should know all about it by now, but, as per usual, this writer’s tongue-in-cheek opinion will hopefully shed a little more light on the subject.

As used in “cricket”, even before the start of a game, there is a coin to be tossed to decide who bats first. Thus said, there are “two sides” to every coin and, to start with, the “Head-line” (A) of this story is wrong.

Just as certainly as there are “ugly Australians” there are “ugly Lankans”too & AND “ugly citizens” of most Countries” but, most Aussie guys are handsome, bronzed “pictures” of the “typical male” & the “girls” are mostly good-looking “Shielahs”too. However, amoung everyone, there are a few who “look nice from far, but are far from nice”.

As such, (B), the headline SHOULD HAVE.BEEN :-


Cricket, as everyone knows, is supposed to be a Gentleman’s game, and, as far as I remember, in the era of “greats” like Sir Donald Bradman, it certainly was. Also, in days, sadly gone by, most sports were played “in the spirit of the game”. NOT ANY MORE! !.

” Money,” is the NAME OF THE GAME at the moment.
“Politics” also feature PROMINENTLY” unfortunately.
It seems such a shame, but, at the risk of sounding like an exaggeration of mammoth propotions, at present, there are many more UGLY aspects of Sport, than UGLY Sportsmen or Sportswomen, for example, There are DRUGS to worry about, MATCH-FIXING, TAKING A DIVE (not necessarily in a swimming pool), CHEATING, RACISM (throwing bananas at people), I could go on till the cows come home, but that’s enough of the “ugly stuff’.

As I have said, and written, many times before, , sticking to the “Cricketers” referred to as the “ugly Australians”, with the exception of a very few, I have no doubt whatsoever that Aussie Cricketers (nowadays), have earned their bad reputation of being extremely unsportsmenlike & “not playing the game”, if you like, firstly, because they want to WIN every game they play, whatever the cost. “Hedging”, name-calling, “dead-balling”, glaring, staring, mouthing niceties, “don’t you bloody daring”, hopeless ungamesmanship, but as we Lankans would say “what to do men? ,that is their way.”. Australia is a Christian Country whose main RELIGON is SPORT!. Undoubtedly, the “Sporting Capital
of the World” they should realize that they CANNOT WIN, all the time. There has to be a winner & loser, the winner treating success with pride BUT the loser treating the loss or draw with graciousness. This is for starters. The cricket team that CAN take the loss of a wicket with a smile, “WALK” as soon as the umpire’s finger “goes up”, not BOWL with a “look” that says ” well, if I can’t bowl you out, let me now cripple you”,! THIS is a team that is playing “the gentleman’s game”.

I cannot criticise most of the other Aussie sports.

Again, we did not WIN as many medals in the recent Rio Olympics, but, per-Capita, we did quite well and our Olympians should be proud of themselves. In tennis, there is one particular player who has broken far more “racquets” than “records”. The match-referees love him because he “talks” to them all the time.” It’s not the racquets that lose the game, it’s you”.

To get back finally, to the Lankan head-curator who started all this off, let me tell you Sir, that you may have possibly misunderstood the recent “episodes” with the Aussie cricket team in the Island, at the moment. Because they could’nt WIN the recent Test -matches, they only felt better when they bloody WHINGED about it. The “holes” dug into the edges of your “pitch”with “boots that were not meant for walkin” were simply because it is part of their religon to grow some “flowering bushes” beside the “grave” of the recent games that died, and, as for the “dead-ball” incident, OUR LANKAN BATSMEN must remember not to tap-dance when they are in the batting crease . They might be quite legally “stumped” “dead ball” or “live-ball”. Also, tap-dance for too long and you may get tired and fall into the sink to be washed away.

To sign off, Sport, including cricket is a wonderfully democratic thing, one of the very few battlefields left. It is a conflict between good & bad, winning & losing, praise & criticism, it’s true values should be treasured & protected, they belong to the people who pay to see the “play”. Think about it..

Desmond (Kelly from Colombo) “The Star of eLanka!”

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