“CRICKET- CAPERS” by Des Kelly

Breaking News.

The C.E.O. of Cricket Australia, James Sutherland comes on “Aunty” A.B.C. for a “Press-Conference” regarding the Cricket-Capers going on at the moment in South Africa. “Cricket Capers in Cape-Town”, rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it ?. What I would like to know is WHY this C.E.O. was made to “appear” on the most important Television Station, in  Australia, the A.B.C. , immediately after I had enjoyed some beautiful choirs on “Songs of Praise”, for a press conference on which he could not give the Pressmen present, any bloody PRESS at all. O.k.,o.k., we are in a new-fangled World, at the moment, but, for crying out loud!, there is still a bit of distance between bloody Cape Town & Canberra. Give the man a chance to get all the “caper-details” in a couple of days, after two other “Reps” (just sent to S.Africa), get back to give James the “details” of what has transpired back there.

As it was, Mr. Sutherland could not answer any questions, simply telling everyone about how sorry he felt as regards what has just happened on the Cricket field in Cape Town.

I can imagine that the Pressmen around him getting quite annoyed, but are they not experienced enough to know that it would be imbloodypossible to get any sensible “breaking news” answers from ANYONE, 5 minutes after something has happened, half a World away. Give me a break.!!

I am writing this especially for our Cricket loving Lankan Aussies. Regarding this one, I have as much information as James Sutherland has, and that is why my paragraph above has been so long. HOWEVER, I have written plenty on Australian Cricket. WHY a team, that has to be one of the very best in the World, would want to WIN every bloody match they play in, I have no idea. You cannot do that, Gentlemen, you win some, you lose some. From Cricket inception, in this Country, you have had some of the greatest “names” in the game. Let’s start with Sir Donald Bradman, as a shining example. He wanted to WIN for Australia, too, but if Australia lost, HE would treat it as the game it was supposed to be, “A Gentleman’s Game”.

Australia has gone on, in the annals of Cricket, with many of the “Super-stars”of batting, bowling, fielding & wicket-keeping. What more do you guys want ?. You are Professionals, guys, have the best equipment, best practise- grounds in every State, earn BIG money, have beautiful family-backgrounds, kids look up to you in awe, beautiful Aussie Sheilas want to be your partners, would you guys cheat on them ?, then, why cheat on the Cricket Field ?.

I will have a lot more on this subject later, but back to the matter at hand (or in hand, depending on how one looks at it). “Ball-tampering” is the subject at the moment. Again, I will not go into the technical aspects of this practice, but, if you really want to ball-tamper, bowlers(male ones). please do not pull your pants down,on the middle of the cricket field in order to hide the evidence, lads, some cameraman might be looking for just this “shot”. “Ball-Tampering” is fully justified and quite legal with the sport of ” Pocket- Billiards”, but, it is certainly NOT CRICKET!.

Desmond Kelly

Star of eLanka

(Editor-in-Chief)