“FOOTY-FEVER” by Des Kelly

Yes, it’s back again. Everyone who is anyone, in Australia knows it. I will not even bother to go into any details about it as anyone who is interested in it, has only to switch on to Channel 7 in Melbourne, every weekend, from now on, and they can learn everything they want to know about this “Sport”.

. For all our Lankan/Aussies who have just arrived here recently, I know that you have had little time in which to learn about the basics of “Aussie-Rules”, as they call it. If you were, like me, looking for a job, to put food on the table for your family, about three days after arrival, you would not have time to sit watching Aussie-Rules on the television, but don’t worry men, you will learn about it quick enough!.

Firstly, it is most difficult to tell you good people the “rules” of “Aussie-Rules”. The A.F.L.(Australian Football League),keeps changing these rules so often, it is impossible to keep track. Then, you newcomers should know that this is probably not the “football” you were thinking about. That “ball” was round, kicked on the ground, and if deflated, another one found, get my drift ?. We called it “football” in Ceylon, but in Europe it was called Soccer. I don’t know why it was called THAT! men, you will have to ask the “Soccer” in Europe, this. It’s like the “Table-Tennis” in Ceylon was called “Ping-Pong”, you ning-nong !.

Seriously speaking, Newcomers, do not worry one iota

(i.e. a very little), if your children go to school here, but do not do too well in their studies, but can come out in the interval to kick this funny looking oval ball & even grab it in their hands, before they “kick”it, you have nothing to worry about. Without any doubt, there will be some footy-spotter watching unobtrusively from over the school wall to “spot”

anyone, be it boy or girl, even, who is thought to be a future “footy-star”. In the not too distant past, only “boys” played this rough game. Nowadays, Aussie girls can, not only play the game, they could possibly “rough-up” Aussie boys!. too.

“Such is life”, as Ned Kelly said, “Sheilas too, can earn “big-bread”. They hung him after that. These Kelly’s can’t win, can they ?.

Australia IS, without any contradiction whatsoever, the “BIGGEST Sporting Nation” in the entire World. If you are a

“Sportsman” or “Sportswoman” in this Country, and are very good at what you do, you, my friends, are on “easy-street”.

They are also quite possibly the World’s biggest gamblers, because “gambling” is rampant, WITH every sport, be it

Horse-racing, Automobile-racing, Greyhound-racing, any bloody “racing”, 2 fleas, running up a wall, let’s have a bet, I’ll make the “call”. Put 2 “karapotthas”(cockroaches), in a ring, lift the ring to see which one will run out first, “I’ll bet you the darker one will run out first, he looks bigger, also men”!

Cricket, Tennis, Golf, Squash, Hockey, Swimming, Boxing, you name the sport, Australia has it in busloads. Sporting venues ?, Australia has some of the very best, a fine example being the M.C.G. in Melbourne, of course.

Sportsmen/Women ? , we need go no further than Sir Donald Bradman, who will ALWAYS be known as the greatest Batsman in the World. Talking about tennis and tennis-courts, we are reminded of one of the greatest ever, female players, in Margaret Court, in nearly every other sport, Australia has ended up with World-Champions. Far too many to list individually, but let us be fair and not forget the “dinkum Aussie-Aussie” Lionel Rose who beat “Fighting- Harada” to become the new boxing-champion of the World.

All good, but here is a warning, a dinkum one, to the A.F.L. today. There is no reason whatsoever that a sports-helmet of SOME SORT be the new “rule” for ALL players, male & female. The game is becoming rougher, faster & more dangerous & a simple helmet could well be the difference between a “healthy” ex-sports-person & one who has brain-damage. These people are getting hit around, & on their heads far too often. I cannot understand this.

Intelligent managenent heads around boxing, for example.

“Sparring-sessions”, both boxers wearing helmets, yet, they go into the “ring”, bare-headed, get smashed around the head, to end up like Muhammad Ali, still pretty, but shaking like a leaf, with “Septic-Shock” which finally killed him. R.I.P.

to one of the finest boxers in the World. “Take heed”, all Aussie-Rules Footy Players. Demand some good, light headgear , asap, and do not take any chances with your health.

Footy-fever is upon us once more so, go, enjoy what I deem

” The greatest, watchable “football-game” in the World.