Clarification Regarding a Fraudulent Email and Falsely Attributed Article Circulating Under My NameHarold Gunatillake clarification
Dear friends and contacts, I want to clarify that I did not write the article shown below. It was sent from a false email address by someone trying to damage my reputation publicly. This is a sequel to the fracas I reported at the recent AGM held by the Sri Lanka Association of NSW. I appreciate your understanding and support.
Sent with Proton Mail secure email. It says-haroldgunatillake1@protonmail,com My Private Confession and Seeking Forgiveness
My dear friends and loved ones,
I am a retired doctor in my late nineties, now standing at the edge of life, preparing to join my late wife and son. I hope they will have room for me when my time comes. As I approach the end of my journey, I feel a deep need to confess, to seek forgiveness, and to leave behind an honest account of my life.
Throughout my years, many have called me an atheist because I lacked strong religious faith in my later life. But I have come to believe that truth, reflection, and honesty are sacred in their own way. If at times I became mean, unkind, or despicable in my actions or words, I know much of it was rooted in a painful past. My childhood left scars of anger and resentment that I never fully healed. This is not an excuse only an explanation.
My Early Life
I came from a dressmaking family. After I lost my mother, everything changed. My stepmother treated me harshly. I was forced to do housework after returning from school and was often fed differently from the others. I grew up feeling unwanted and unloved a child who belonged to no one.
Later, one of my father’s brothers adopted me and send me to Colombo, where I continued my studies. Eventually, I entered Colombo Medical College. At a dance there, I met Irangani Sirimanna (Ira). I had a soft corner for her, and in time, we married.
Yet the emotional wounds of my early life remained. When I saw others enjoying loving family relationships, it stirred jealousy in me. I could not bear to see others happy together, because I had never known that kind of happiness myself.
The Second Trauma
Another painful chapter began when I boarded at the vicarage of St. Paul’s, Kinsey Road. There, I was sexually molested by a priest (decease). That experience marked me deeply, even though I tried to appear strong on the outside. It changed my outlook on life and left me distrustful, angry, and emotionally guarded.
My Medical Career and Weaknesses
After returning from the UK, I served in several government hospitals, including Badulla and Hiniduma. Many of my patients were planters’ wives (all decease) who came to my private practice at the bungalow.
In those days, I was young, impulsive, and irresponsible. I sometimes acted in ways that took advantage of patients’ trust. In that era, there were no laws to protect patients, and I am fortunate for that.
To those women and most of all, to Ira I offer my humble apology. She never doubted me, and I betrayed that trust. I am deeply ashamed of the man I was then. Life in Australia
After migrating to Australia, my career continued, but I made more mistakes that cost me dearly. I betrayed the trust of those who helped me, and I lost integrity through foolish actions. To all those whom I disappointed or hurt, I sincerely apologize.
I also resented Ira’s brother, Ranjith Sirimanna, and his family in Sydney. Out of fear and insecurity, I influenced Ira to keep her distance from them. I now see how wrong and cruel that was.
When Ira’s mother came from Sri Lanka to live with us, things began well, but my old wounds resurfaced. I treated her poorly and even turned Ira against her. Eventually, her mother left heartbroken. Friends warned me that I was going too far, but I didn’t listen.
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Looking back, I realize I isolated Ira from her family because I did not want her to have what I never had love and belonging. My jealousy made me small and selfish, and I live with that regret.
Loss and Regret
When my son died, something inside me broke. In grief and desperation, I turned to strange spiritual practices and necromancy, hoping to find meaning or peace. But instead, I grew more confused and isolated. I made more enemies than friends, both in Sri Lanka and Australia.
I still remember being ousted from an AGM in the late 1990s by Mr. Sunil De Silva and others. I hated them then, but now I understand that what goes around comes around.
In 2021, when the Sinhala Cultural Centre was officially opened, I had donated toward the property. Though I was invited, I was not asked to light the oil lamp nor to give a speech. Some said I was treated merely as a cameraman. It hurt me deeply, but I forgive the committee now. Time has taught me that forgiveness brings peace, while bitterness brings only pain.
My Prejudices and Apologies
I must also confess that I carried prejudice against Tamil people. I made hurtful remarks, including toward a respected lady, Deanna Sathanandan. Those words caused pain and cost me friendships. I was wrong. I sincerely apologize to her, to my Tamil friends, and to Ira, who suffered the consequences of my behaviour. The OAM Nomination
When I asked my local community in Sydney to nominate me for the OAM medal, not a single member of the Sri Lankan community stepped forward to support me. It saddened me deeply, though I now understand the main reason was my own attitude. My friends from Melbourne, who saw only one side of me, kindly nominated me for the OAM. It showed me how much the Sydney community had distanced themselves from me and I accept that with humility.
My Final Reflections
I now offer my apologies to all my friends and foes, Ira’s relatives, my own brothers and sisters, and anyone whose feelings I have hurt along the way. I understand why some called me despicable, and I accept that judgment with humility.
In my later years, I regretted taking Ira back to Sri Lanka. I worried that after my death, others might take advantage of her. In my misguided thinking, I even wished she would pass away before me, so she wouldn’t have to suffer. Tragically, that wish came true. I am haunted by the thought that I may have contributed to her death in some way. Please forgive me, my dear Ira.
Closing Thoughts
I know I cannot undo the past. Karma will take its course, and I will face whatever consequences await me. But before I leave this world, I want to ask for forgiveness from those I hurt, from those I loved poorly, and from life itself.
May peace finds those I wronged.
And may I find a small measure of peace before I go. With sincere remorse and hope for forgiveness, Harold Gunatillake
