Paraprosdokians – By Des Kelly

 Now, anyone and everyone who reads eLanka newsletters, and hopefully these good folk now number around 23.000, will know exactly what the word Paraprosdokians means. I didn’t have a bloody clue, and had to google it, to find out. Anyway, as I always say, English is a strange language, but an interesting one, at the same time. All these sentences, phrases, quotes, etcetera etcetera, words that sound exactly the same when spoken, yet spelt quite differently, like our “Opposition” Government Party who are called LABOR because, for some reason or the other, the Americans dislike the letter “U” and we, in Australia try to play ” Follow the leader” with the U.S.A. always leading. Anyway, that’s enough for the moment, Des,

lets get down to some interesting Paraprosdokians now. 

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Please read all of them folks, for the more you read, the more you’ll learn.

Desmond Kelly.
(Editor-in-Chief) eLanka.

Paraprosdokians (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.

1. 1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
   2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.
   3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
   4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
   5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
   6. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

1. 1. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
   2. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
   3. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
   4. In filling out an application, where it says, ‘In case of emergency, Notify:’ I put ‘DOCTOR’.
   5. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

1. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
2. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not so sure..
3. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a mechanic.
4. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
5. I’m supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now.