“STUFF-EM, EGG-HEADS” by Des Kelly

They are “at it”, again, these so-called egg-Producers, (and I am not talking about the poor “chooks”, here), I am talking about the Companies that “shut” these helpless little birds in cages for the sole purpose of collecting their eggs and making profits from them, not giving a damn about what these miserable hens have to go through, to provide these eggs.

I write it, and I mean it. Human beings do need eggs as part of their daily diet(hopefully), many cannot afford to buy them, some cannot eat them, and personally, I do not touch eggs that are not “free-range”. Hens, who are “caged-up” with barely room to move their small bodies, not even enough room to spread their wings, as birds like to do, their little heads poking out of an aperture, solely for the purpose of pecking for their food right below them, then laying their eggs, under the most difficult circumstances, simply because someone wants to make some monetary benefits from them, is a CRIME, as far as I am concerned.

No-one can tell me that a “free-range” chicken farm isn’t a much better & safer place, infection-wise, for both hens and ducks to produce wholesome eggs. To even try to compare “free-range” & the “caged” variety of eggs is ridiculous to the extreme. If ever any reader of eLanka is able to tell me, for example, that an ordinary caged-chook egg, on sale at Supermarkets around, at only slighter lower prices, is better as a whole, (egg), i take back everything I have written, but, speaking again, on a personal basis, I eat only free-range eggs, & to prove it even further, my son Doug.,brings me eggs sometimes, laid by chooks running free in his backyard & to me, they would have to be the freshest, best-tasting eggs that I am very lucky to consume.

Being a poet(of sorts), I have decided to put into verse, the subject of this “story” In addition, “music-clips” are added, & because I have never been the sexist-type, I am also featuring the Lankan “hit” song by the La-Bambas, called “Cock-a-doodle-do”, because without them “Cocks”, generally called “Roosters”, there wouldn’t be any bloody eggs to eat at all.  So much for the “same-sex” theory. Please read my story folks, read & memorize the “poem”, enjoy the music and look closely at the background of the Lankan song. IF these “hens” wouldn’t be happier in the beautiful surroundings, of the Ceylon backyard, together with their “cocks” to “doodle-do” them, (if you have a dirty mind, that’s your fault), what I really meant, was simply to

“CROW to them”, then I would be a “Monkey’s Uncle”

My poem, getting serious, is not very complicated.

“AN ODE TO EGGS”

EGGS ARE JUST “DREGS”, CAGED, OR BATTERY-LAID,

WITH PROCEDURES, BOTH CRUEL AND STRANGE,

STILL, ONE EGG A DAY, KEEPS THE DOCTOR AWAY,

ESPECIALLY EGGS OF “FREE-RANGE”.

THE HENS AREN’T TO BLAME, FOR THE CRUELTY &  SHAME,

THAT THEIR LIVES, LOCKED IN CAGES, NOW “FEATURES”,

NOT THE “NATURAL WAY”, AS I ALWAYS SAY,

THEY ARE STILL ONE OF GOD’S LITTLE CREATURES.

THEY GIVE US THE PROTEIN , THAT HUMAN BEINGS NEED

WE LOVE EGGS FOR BREAKFAST EACH DAY,

BUT, AS EVERYONE KNOWS, WE SHOULDN’T EAT THOSE,

THAT THESE “CHOOKS” HAVE TO SUFFER, TO LAY.

YES, EGGS ARE JUST “DREGS”, CAGED OR BATTERY-LAID,

THROUGH SUFFERING, TROUBLE, AND STRIFE,

SO CHOOSE THEM WITH CARE, THEY’RE MUCH TASTIER & RARE,

LAID BY HENS WITH A “REAL” FREE-RANGE LIFE.

P.S. R.S.P.C.A. & ALL “ANIMAL-ACTIVISTS” TAKE NOTE.

Desmond Kelly

Star of eLanka

(Editor-in-Chief)