An Inspiration message for July 2025 – The Vanishing Bond – How Friendships and Family Ties Are Fading – By Charles Schokman
There was a time when our homes were filled with life. Cousins were like brothers and sisters. Siblings stood shoulder to shoulder. Neighbours became family. Sundays were for visiting, not for rushing. Easter, Christmas, Birthdays, Weddings, Funerals-whatever the occasion, we showed up. No invite needed. No hesitation.
But somewhere along the way, something precious has slipped through our fingers.
Today, even siblings, those who grew up under the same roof, ate from the same pots, fought and laughed in the same cramped rooms, now barely speak once our parents pass on.
Without Maa and Papa holding the family together, the gaps between us widen. Cousins who once shared school holidays and sleepovers now feel like strangers. Our Children, who should have been each other’s playmates and confidants, barely know one another beyond a few polite greetings at functions, if they meet at all.
What happened to us?
Somewhere between the dreams of a better life and the pressures of modern living, we lost something vital. We chased education, careers, new postcodes, and financial security, things our parents and Grandparents fought so hard for us to have. But in that chase, relationships were pushed to the side. Family time became “when I have a chance.” Friendships became “when it’s convenient.” The gatherings grew smaller, then fewer, until one day, they stopped happening altogether.
Materialism crept in too. Quietly, subtly.
Now, it’s who has the bigger house in, who’s sending their kids to private school, who’s travelling overseas. Conversations, once warm and messy, now feel like subtle competitions.
And vulnerability, admitting you’re struggling, lonely, or simply missing someone, has become almost taboo. We protect our images instead of sharing our truths. We hide our struggles behind shiny posts and proud updates, fearing that showing weakness would invite judgment rather than support.
Social media hasn’t helped either.
Instead of heart-to-heart chats over tea, we scroll past each other’s lives, clicking *”like”* and moving on. It’s easier to post a perfect picture than to make the uncomfortable call that says, “I miss you,” or, “I’m not okay.”
And when our elders left us, when the get-togethers stopped being arranged by Parents and Grandparents, we realised something painful: without them, many of us don’t know how to hold each other together.
We let small grudges turn into lifelong silences. We let pride, business, and fear get in thė way.
We stopped reaching out. And without tending to it, L♡VĖ and CONNECTION, like anything else, withered.
But the cost is heavier than we admit.
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Loneliness is now thick in the air. Depression and mental health struggles are rising quietly behind beautiful front doors. Children grow up disconnected from their roots, missing the powerful safety net that once came naturally from being part of something bigger, an entire village of family who cared.
It’s not too late to turn back.
We can still rebuild what we’ve lost, if we choose to. We can still call our siblings, even if it’s been years. We can invite the cousins over, even if it feels awkward at first. We can teach our children that family is more than just a word on paper, it’s showing up, it’s forgiving, it’s trying, even when life pulls us in every direction.
At the end of it all, we won’t remember the number of bedrooms in our homes or how many likes our posts got. We will remember the people we loved or regret the ones we let slip away.
The bonds didn’t vanish on their own. We let them go. But we can bring them back. One phone call. One message. One heartfelt moment at a time.
Courtesy of Poonam Datta.
This song tells the truth about what’s happening in our lives today We can change this though.
You are welcome to pass this on.
