Eulogy – Mary Irene Lucia Herft (van Rooyen)
14.12.1933 – 22.08.2020

Mary Irene Lucia van Rooyen was born in Sri Lanka on 14 December 1933. She was the eldest of seven children born to Eric and Hazel van Rooyen, her other siblings being Godwin, Clement, Ursula, Noeline, Glenville and Faye.

Growing up as the eldest of a family during the war years, when the money was scarce, would have been difficult. Yet, mum grew up strong, educated herself, married and had seven children of her own. She was capable and strong willed. Mum was also a private person, so much so that she would have been happy to leave this earth during Covid19 to avoid any fanfare at her funeral. I’m sure if I told her just before she passed that only 10 people will be allowed to attend her funeral, her response would have been, “Son, that’s 10 too many”.

Mum’s siblings remember her taking on a motherly role to assist their own mother who was born with a disability, as their father spent time away from
home as an army soldier. The younger sisters fondly remember mum teaching them the alphabet, counting and reading them nursery rhymes. At the tender age of 15, mum had to baptize her 6-day old brother Glenville who was ill and passed away, as their father was away on work duties at the time.

Mum was incredibly talented at sewing and made clothes for her siblings, her children, her grandchildren and had plenty of private orders as well. We have so many family photos of the boys dressed in matching outfits and girls also dressed in their matching outfits. Mum also made her own wedding dress as well as her sisters’ and
daughters’ wedding dresses.

 

 

Mum was initially tutored at home by a good family friend, the Christansz family. She formally commenced school at the late age of 8 in 1942 at Holy Family Convent, Dehiwala, Sri Lanka. This was the start of a 30-year association with the school. Hence, the HFC flag is draped in front of her coffin as a testament to her dedication and love of the convent.

Mum completed her student years in 1950, regularly winning academic awards, including her final prize of a Christ The King statue. Mum kept this statue by her side over the past 70 years until the day she died, and we will donate it to the chapel of the aged care facility where she passed away and where Dad currently resides.

The statue is placed in front of us along with other special symbols representing her life.

The next 21 years mum spent as a teacher at the convent. She initially commenced her teaching career as a relief teacher with the ‘Nursery” as it was known then and proceeded to teach mathematics in both English and Sinhalese. Many of mum’s previous students kept in contact with her and there has been numerous comments posted by them on the Past Pupils Convent Facebook page over the last week, expressing their gratitude to her for making a positive contribution to their lives. I know several of her past pupils both in Australia and in Sri Lanka have tuned into this service to pay their respects.

Mum and Dad married on 12th April 1958. The next seven years they raised six children, namely Gerry in April 1959, Suzette in November 1960, Damian in January 1962, Patrick Steve in January 1963, Angelo in January 1964 and Patricia Laurene in March 1965.

Most of their early years of marriage was difficult as money was scarce. Dad was ill and lost his job and in the main Mum, was the main bread winner. As her teacher salary was insufficient on its own, mum undertook private tuition for students and sewing jobs until late in the night to make ends meet.Most of their early years of marriage was difficult as money was scarce. Dad was ill and lost his job and in the main Mum, was the main bread winner. As her teacher salary was insufficient on its own, mum undertook private tuition for students and sewing jobs until late in the night to make ends meet.

 

She was fortunate that Dad managed to take on the motherly role of raising six children under the age of seven. I have vivid memories of us six children sitting on the steps of our kitchen in our house in Sri Lanka in order of our age sharing the one plate of food for dinner with our mum feeding us with her hands. I don’t know how many times we bit into her fingers thinking it was a piece of beef.

Our parents’ prayers were answered when we managed to migrate to Australia on 13 May 1972 through the generosity of family and friends. They arrived with one suitcase, little cash and have now built a legacy of a large loving and caring family. Money was still scarce and while we missed out on many things, we always had food on the table, a roof over our head, clothes on ourselves and we were all educated. We could not ask for anything more.

 

 

In 1973 our little brother Christopher was born. Whilst she loved us all equally, she always said God blessed her with a child at the age of 40 so she could enjoy motherhood, rather than working three jobs and raising six children at the same time. Unfortunately, mum only enjoyed Christopher for four short years until God called him home. Mum lost the “apple of her eye”. It was at this point in time that her health first started to suffer.

Mum continued her vocation as a teacher in Australia for a further 5 years, but it was not the same and she did not enjoy it. She then worked at Telecom for 14 years until she retired in 1992.

Mum and Dad retired at the same time and finally got to spend some time together. They were fortunate to travel overseas on numerous occasions and loved travelling around Australia too. They also bought their first holiday home in Phillip Island. It was here that the whole Herft and van Rooyen clan have fond memories of our very own Boxing Day Test match. Every family member looked forward to this fun-loving day.

Mum and Dad were blessed to celebrate 62 years of married life. We celebrated the key milestones of their 25th, 40th, 50th and 60th wedding anniversaries in grand style.

Mum kept a very strong faith throughout her life, and it was her faith that she gave thanks to for the good times in her life and called upon during her difficult times. Mum also shared a love of God’s creations, in particular her pet dogs, most of them named Sandy, who were fed on rice and curry leftovers and toasted vegemite bread. She even fed her own magpie in their retirement unit, much to dad’s annoyance. Mum also enjoyed keeping her
mind sharp by doing her daily crossword puzzles and suduko.

Mum also enjoyed cooking and everybody enjoyed her Christmas cake and her yummy saffron potatoes. Mum’s appetite didn’t wander far away from her Sri Lankan rice and curries. If ever we went out for a family occasion, her response would be “What a waste of money, I could have made a better curry”. On one occasion we had a family picnic at Studley Park. As people were arriving all we could see was poor dad carrying mum’s saucepans tied up in a tea towel so the curry wouldn’t spill in the car.

Mum counted her greatest blessings as those of her seven children and 11 grandchildren. Her children’s partners, namely Gina, Caroline, Sarah, Melinda and Brett and her beloved grandchildren Jacinta, Sarah, James, Rebecca, Nicholas, Brooke, Christopher, Genevieve, Joshua, Scarlett and Jesse, would have loved to have been here to pay their respects. She was always very proud of us all. If mum disliked something you did, she had no hesitation is saying so, regardless of the consequence. In true van Rooyen style she said what was on her mind without fear or favour. 

Mum had been struggling with her health for many months prior to her recent fall and episodes of acute heart failure. However, she willed herself to keep
going because of our father’s frail health. As the family matriarch, mum had trouble letting go because caring for others was what she had done all her life.

Mum bore the mantle of responsibility with great grace and acceptance.

Her health significantly deteriorated over the past three months and at 11:16pm on 22 August 2020, surrounded by two of her sons, God finally called her home. She has now finally been reunited with her beloved Christopher after 43 long years.