“FOR SCEPTICAL SENIORS” – by Des Kelly

As we grow older, most of us tend to get sceptical about the happenings around us, so here, Ladies & Gentlemen, are 12 Commandments, written on ordinary paper rather than stone, sent out to us by Keith Bennett, for our individual perusal. Please read them carefully to avoid deep, dire consequences, and thank you Keith, for the advice.

Desmond Kelly.
(Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka.

TWELVE COMMANDMENTS FOR SENIORS

#1 – Talk to yourself. There are times you need expert advice.

#2 – “In Style” are the clothes that still fit.

#3 – You don’t need anger management. You need people to stop pissing you off.

#4 – Your people skills are just fine. It’s your tolerance for idiots that  needs work.

#5 – The biggest lie you tell yourself  is, “I don’t need to write that down. I’ll remember it.”

#6 – “On time” is when you get there.

#7 – Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it sure does muffle the sound.         

#8 – It would be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes, then come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.

#9 – Lately, you’ve noticed people your age are so much older than  you.

#10 – Growing old should have taken longer.

#11 – Aging has slowed you down,   but hasn’t shut you up.

#12 – You still haven’t learned to act your age and hope you never will.

. . . And one more:

“One for the road” 

 Peeing before you leave the house.