Lets Know Something About Types of Attachments – By Nisal Rukshan
Attachments play an important role in shaping human interactions, including safety, comfort, trust and awareness within a society. According to psychologists, attachment styles are centered on the communication and collaboration between children and their parents. This significant factor tends to remain with individuals throughout their life.
The foundation of attachment and its theories are built upon the contributions of Sigmund Freud, particularly his psychosexual stages, and later, the studies of John Bowlby.
Understanding attachment styles is very important, as it helps individuals to understand their own behaviors and those of others in various situations. This understanding has a significant impact on creating a pleasant environment promoting mental well-being, and cultivating a peaceful society.
In this topic of attachment, it is essential to understand its importance both in childhood and adulthood. Most of the elaborations explain the impact of childhood attachments on behaviour and personality in adulthood, particularly in relationships.
According to psychologist John Bowlby, there are four distinguishing characteristics of attachments. The first is Proximity maintenance which explains the desire to be near the people to whom we are attached. This is similar to the second characteristic, which describes the tendency to return to the primary attachment figure for comfort during times of fear or threat. Bowlby’s third characteristic, secure base, refers to the attachment figure serving as a source of safety from which the child can explore the surrounding environment. Finally, the fourth characteristic is separation distress, which is the anxiety that arises in the absence of the attachment figure.
In John Bowlby’s study, he explains three key propositions of attachment. His first proposition, ‘Consistent Care Leads to Trust’, emphasizes that when children grow up with the confidence that their caregiver will be available to them, they are less likely to fear abandonment compared to those raised without such assurance. Similarly, he explains that early experiences are critical on the development of attachment.
Early Experiences are Critical factors.
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The researcher believed that this confidence is forged during a critical development period which includes infancy, childhood, and adolescence. The expectations formed during this time remain relatively constant, without variations for the rest of a person’s life.
Expectations stem from significant Experiences.
Finally, he proposed that these interrelated expectations are linked to experiences. In other words, children develop needs that their caregivers are there to fulfill; thus, in their minds, their caregivers have been responsive in the past.
The foundation of these attachments is a crucial factor in everyone’s life cycle. The patterns of attachment have a significant impact on relationships, decision making, emotions, education, sexuality, family, occupation, and various important milestones in a person’s life.
Most researchers have traced the impacts of attachment from childhood to old age. Among many studies, this article references, the “Strange Situation study” conducted by the psychologist Mary Ainsworth in 1970 (which involved children aged 12- 18 months).
The study was conducted with a preplanned sequence in which the parent and child are in a room together. The child is in the room with the assistance and supervision of the parent. Next, a stranger enters to the room, talks with the parent, and approaches the child. The parent then leaves the room, and finally, the parent returns to comfort the child.
This study explained the four main attachment types as follows:
Secure attachment
This attachment style in childhood indicates that securely attached children appear sad when their parents or caregivers are away. They seek comfort from their parents or caregivers when they are afraid.
Furthermore, studies have shown that securely attached children are more empathetic during later stages of childhood. They tend to be less aggressive, calmer, and more mature than children with other attachment styles.
As a glimpse of this attachment style from childhood to adulthood, it can be summarized as follows:
As children, they separate from their parents, seek comfort from them when frightened, greet their parents’ return with positive emotions, and prefer their parents to strangers. As adults, they show characteristics such as having trusting, lasting relationships, maintaining good self-esteem, exchanging feelings with partners and friends, and seeking social support.
Ambivalent attachment
Children with ambivalent attachment are often suspicious of strangers and show distress when their parents or caregivers are away. Similarly, they do not show reassurance when the parent or caregiver returns. In some occasions, these children passively refuse their parents with aggression, while at other times they may show the aggression more openly.
As adults, they are often unenthusiastic about becoming close to others, anxious that their partner does not love them, and very worried when relationships end.
Avoidant Attachment
Children with avoidant attachment tend to avoid their parents and caregivers, especially noticeable after a long-term absence. These children neither reject their parents nor seek comfort or security from them. They don’t show any preference for their parents over strangers.
As children with avoidant attachment, they show behaviors such as avoiding their parents, and do not pursuing significant interaction or comfort from them. They show little to no favouritism for their parents compared to strangers.
As adults, individual with avoidant attachment displays characteristics that include difficulty with intimacy, very low emotions in social and romantic relationships, and an inability to share thoughts or feelings with others. This attachment style often leads to creating personalities that do not invest much emotion in romance or intimacy. They may avoid intimacy by making excuses, such as long working hours, and, may romanticize other people during sexual encounters and some research finds that they are more likely to engage in casual sex. Additionally, they fail to support their partners emotionally or express their feelings openly.
Disorganized Attachment
This attachment style is characterized by the term ‘disorganized’. Children with this attachment style show insecure attachment behaviours and lack clear patterns of behaviours. Their actions toward the caregivers and the parents are mixed and disorganized, including both avoidance and resistance.
Adults with disorganized attachment show a variety of characteristics, including an unclear mix of anxious and avoidant behaviours in relationships. They may sometimes seek out affectionate relationships only to swiftly drive the other person away. They often have issues with trusting partners and are associated with toxic relationships, which can escalate to abuse.
Why are these attachments important?
Understanding attachments styles is highly impactful on individual, collective, and social levels. It helps individuals to understand their realities, assists them in overcoming challenges, creates a better society through psychological healing and improved communication, reduces violence, improves the quality of relationships, and much more.
Conclusion
Attachments are vital in our lives for cultivating better communication, relationships, thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. Early recognition of each attachment style can help create a corporate and smooth functioning of human relationships, along with remedies for maladaptive behaviours. While we may have a series of characteristics influenced by nature, nurture also plays a significant role in shaping our attachments and personality. This brief article may serve as a guiding light for someone in need.
Sources : verywellmind.com
Pictures from : Pixbay
Nisal Rukshan, MHRM, B.A. (Defence), BSc (Hons.) Counselling Psychology,
DCPsy, DOSH
Email: rukshan4slsr@gmail.com
