GAY by Desmond Kelly

Isn’t it strange?, a simple 3-letter English word, now used in connection with people born homosexual and who prefer the company & love of their same sex (not that there is anything wrong with that), as Jerry Seinfeld reiterated in some hilarious episode, some time ago,in conjunction with George Costanza, Kramer & some American-baseball “Star”, whose name eludes me. All I remember was that it was indeed a “gay”, happy programme in a television show that I can warmly & gaily recommend to everyone. You name it, the Seinfeld Show featured it, in gay episodes filled with laughter, uproarious slapstick, & sometimes, very subtle comedy.

I watch this “show” because, being “ramrod straight”, myself. Now, “straight”, there’s another simple English word meaning to move in a straight line, without a curve or bend in it, I watch Seinfeld primarily to see “Elaine” the female “lead” because I think she is extremely “sexy” ,& being heterosexual to a fault, I loved the episode where George, who had just been swimming in a pool, was “surprised” by some female who espied him naked, laughed out loud, because, according to Georgie, DID NOT realize that, being in a pool, rendered a “shrinkage” that was inevitable. George was discussing the matter with Jerry, when Elaine passed by and George called her in on the discussion. At first, Elaine thought that George meant the “shrinkage”of clothes, but when George Costanza coyly pointed to “his shrinkage” , the “line” Elaine Bennett was given was both superbly funny & “acted”in the same manner when she turned on her heel and walked out of the room saying “I really don’t know how you guys walk around with “those things” hanging there”. It was hilarious & Elaine IS sexy.

Getting back to the English Language, simple words are now emerging, that need explanation before we can even understand what they “now” mean. My “title” is one. The word “gay” originally meant “out-going”, not “happy”, as many of us first thought. Why I say this is because I do know of a song with the lyrics “happy and gay”included, & one could not possibly be “out-going” twice, in a row, could one? . Talking about “twice”, going forward, as we now do, (going bloody backward is not on), our youngsters now say “two times”. “Twice” is for us, oldies. “Thrice” seems to have gone right out of the English vocabulary.

Coming back, (returning), to where I was going, in the first place, (and where was that, Desmond, without sounding too mundane), sorry, folks, I have to stretch this thing out, a bit, after all, the title of this article is very short, indeed, but let’s get back to it, now.

Ever since the homosexual people have been calling themselves GAY, I have been trying to find out WHY they are calling themselves THIS.! They do seem to be quite gay when they climb aboard their “floats” at the annual “Mardi-gras” ceremony, sometimes even “flaunting” their gayness a little too much, in my opinion, pinching each other on the bum & so-forth, fifth & even sixth. Yes, they do have the right to be happy & gay, but what the hell does GAY mean?

Well, being a “wordsmith” of sorts, I have figured out the answer to this riddle, and the “readers” of eLanka can now proudly state that “Gay” now means “Go-Anti-Yore”. (Go Against Yore).To explain even more fully, “Of yore/yesterday, is past history” The past history of a “couple” being Man & Woman is now gone. Now the “Go-Anti-Yore” crowd are “out-going” to the extent that they now want to get married and start their own families. From 1936 to now, marriage, to me, has only been between a Man & a Woman. This is why I am here to write this, BUT, Go-Anti-Yore, all you “Gays”, get married, love each other, have your children “produced” by any technical procedure available, part company like 52% of heterosexual couples are doing right now, when you cannot stand each other, any longer, & good friggin luck to the lot of you. ” I’ll say no more Go-Anti-Yore”.

Desmond Kelly.
Srar of eLanka.