Life in a Toxic Relationships & Interactions – By Nisal Rukshan
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Life consists of bonds between each other. These bonds are simply called relationships. There are many relationships with various situational behaviours. As we know, some of the experiences of relationships include positive and negative consequences. The mode of these relationships is highly affecting our health, mentally, physically, socially, and in many other ways. Hence, we need to continue with good relationships for a better life.
Today, we’re going to discuss one type of relationship that highly affects our lives and those of others, both directly and indirectly. Since it’s toxic, it’s called a toxic relationship. Simply put, “it’s a relationship that makes you feel worse than it previously existed.” Such relationships can exist everywhere, like at school, home, the playground, the office, or any other place.
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During toxic relationships, really, what happens? That’s the question each of us feels. In simple terms, abuse occurs in a relationship with mental and physical substances, such as toxic ones. Those can be scenarios, situations, or feelings, as follows:
I didn’t feel safe during the relationship. In this case, it feels like I don’t have emotional support, which I expected. You didn’t feel like saying reality in front of them since he or she may misunderstand or misinterpret it.
It feels like I lost myself: for the need for your partner, your behaviour changes and restrictions may impose.
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Feels worse than earlier: Sometimes, you may have some issues, but with these relationship bonds, things go crazy.
It feels like he or she has control over you. This shows you cannot be independent. The partner is always over you in all aspects.
You feel a toll on your self-esteem over time.
Finding your weaknesses and highlighting them, followed by joking or blaming
Expect everything from you, but none from them.
You always feel depressed, angry, and tired while talking.
You feel that it always challenges your self-esteem.
Feels unsupportive, demanding, threatening, etc.
When it comes to this sort of toxic relationship, those seem abusive. Hence, there’s a need to know a bit about how they differ from each other. In a toxic relationship, disrespect and violations of boundaries can be observed regularly. During an abusive relationship, repetitive behaviour is used to harm another person. Hence, all toxic relationships are not abusive, but all abusive relationships can be toxic.
Some differences between toxic relationships and healthy relationships can be elaborated on as follows:
Insecure: secure; jealous: love; misunderstand: understanding; selfish: selfless; negative: positive; distrust: trust, critical: encouraging, as patterns explain how opposites each.
When it comes to different relationships in toxic patterns, one needs to understand the varieties. Meanwhile, we must remember that toxic relationships are not limited to romantic affairs. It can be anywhere, like a family, school, workplace, playground, or any. These will be toxic once a person is unable to cope.
Generally, we can find several types of toxic relationships. Among those, understanding the following will help anyone have a healthy relationship:.
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Negative behaviours, such as continuous complaints, criticism, negative thinking, and reactions, play a role in toxic attachments. Similarly, perfectionist behaviour and competitiveness without control also show these similarities.
A lack of self-awareness also creates toxic relationships. Since such personnel don’t know the impact of their actions on others, Thereby, they don’t have a sense of their behaviour outcomes towards others’ mentalities.
Intention to hurt others: Some individuals exhibit intentions of strict, rude, and angry behaviour to hurt others. They know those actions mean to hurt others. But continue to have pleasure or satisfaction.
Cheating continuously: continued cheating also seems toxic. It creates painful, stressful situations for others. Such individuals are only seeking their pleasure and don’t care about others’ feelings or emotions.
Why do we need to know about toxic relationships?
Since these sorts of relationships create mental health issues among individuals, groups, and communities, Direct and indirect impacts in various scenarios may increase mental disorders like anxiety and stress.
What we can do to cope with toxic relationships
- Talk : means you need to talk to the subject about how you feel. This must have to do with a constructive pattern. Then it will not provide the wrong meaning.
- Evaluate your relationship. It elaborates that you need to evaluate the status of it. During this evaluation, it must continue by considering salient factors with much regard to the relationship.
- Limit Your Time: Do not overspend your time with such people. We need to stay away as much as possible.
- Use I feel: Once you are in conversation, try to use the word “I feel.” Then it will be more assertive in communication with such individuals.
- Understand their weakness: Don’t go for heated arguments. Understand their weaknesses. Examples like being unable to cope, a lack of self-awareness, and social skills.
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coping with a toxic relationship is not easy. Hence, better communication is a must, together with clearly identified and framed boundaries. Having boundaries with better communication can reduce the worst impacts that may occur.
If you are experiencing such relationship issues or you’re having such attitudes toward others that make them toxic, then you need better guidance. Therefore, do not hesitate to meet a qualified mental health practitioner near you.(pictures from internet)
Nisal Rukshan, MHRM, BA (Defence), BSc (Hons.) Counselling Psychology, DCPsy
Email: rukshan4slsr@gmail.com
