“LOCKDOWN LARRIKINS” – By Des Kelly

Tired of hearing the word ??, I don’t blame you. However, in Australia, our Medical facilities are 2nd to none, and if anyone who has taken a hatred to staying home, and staying safe, all they have to do is to ignore lockdown instructions, go out, mix around, only wearing masks if planning to rob a bank, and eventually catch the Covid bug, floating around it seems, everywhere, and, as sure as night is followed by day, end up in some hospital, which means that they would then have the expert services of one or more of these individuals that Desmond de Silva is messaging us, about. Thank you, Dssmond. I am sure that our e’Lanka readers will really enjoy this one.

Desmond Kelly.
(Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka.

Medical views on the lockdown

Medical experts in Australia were asked if it is time to ease the COVID lockdowns.

Allergists were in favour of scratching it, but Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

Gastroenterologists had a sort of a gut feeling about it, but Neurologists thought the government had a lot of nerve.

Obstetricians felt certain everyone was labouring under a misconception, while Ophthalmologists considered the idea short-sighted .

Many Pathologists yelled, “Over my dead body!” while Paediatricians said, “Oh, grow up!”

Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and Pharmacists claimed it would be a bitter pill to swallow.

Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would, “Put a whole new face on the matter”. 

Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Urologists were pissed off by the whole idea.

Anaesthetists thought the whole idea was a gas, and Cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the arseholes in politics…”