“MORE PONDERISMS” – by Des Kelly
With my apologies to those who have pondered these ponderisms before, I did ponder on whether to publish these particular “beauties” on e’Lanka again and decided to do so simply because the ponderous pharaphaneliya (yes, I ponder and/or wonder if I have spelt that right), that Keith Bennett sends us from time to time is primarily important for the poshest website (in simple English), in Australia.
Also gives me the chance, immediately after Valentine’s day, this year, to dedicate a wonderful song, to whom it may concern, tying in with the above ponderisms. This is how I like them and here’s hoping our wonderful readers will enjoy both the poetic song and the subject as stated above.
Desmond Kelly.
(Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka.
Pondering Ponderisms
� Why do peanuts float in a regular coke and sink in a diet coke. Go ahead and try it.
� I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
� How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
� Why do you have to “put your two cents in,” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra penny going?
� Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
� What disease did ‘cured ham’ actually have?
� How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
� Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up like every two hours?
� If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
� Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
� Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
� Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway.
� Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
� Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no human would eat?
� Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
� If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
� If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
� If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
� Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
� Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
� Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
� How did the man who made the first clock, know what time it was?
