“SAME-SEX ARRANGED MARRIAGE”

by Desmond Kelly the Star of eLanka 

The World is a-changing. In Australia, right now, decisions are being made as to whether people of the same-sex should legally be able to get married. Top Politicians in this sun-burn’t Country, recently, have gone as far as to say that if a Catholic Priest refuses to “marry” a same-sex couple, then he should look for another job!, I was rather annoyed to see a morning-show host on “Aunty A.B.C.”rudely interrupt a”No-Man” several times, while interviewing two people with different views on this same rather complex issue.It was obvious to see how “Joe” was going to vote.

I am certain that, for example, just a few years ago, in Ceylon, had I ever suggested to anyone there that I was planning to introduce ARRANGED,same-sex marriage,to the Sinhalese people, they would have run me out of the Country a long while before 1962.
In case our Aussie friends don’t know what the hell I am talking about, let me explain. In places like India and Ceylon (now Sri Lanka), in my time, most local marriages were between a man & a woman (so what’s new)?, There were plenty of same-sex friendships, but marriages, none, that I knew of, anyway.WHY?, you ask.

Please don’t get your knickers tied in a knot, & I’ll tell you!!. First & foremost, in respectable Sinhalese familiies, the “Parents” normally “arranged” partners for either their sons or daughters. Sinhala youth could not simply go out and choose who you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. True, a young man might see his future bride who would be “nice from far” but, in reality, would be “far from nice” & a young woman might see a man who looked like a “Rajah” but ended up a Pariah”, still, Parents & “dowries” had the last say. “a dowry” was what was “on offer” financially.

The “uglier” the partner, the bigger the dowry. Once again, in the Ceylon of my time, cash money was not “what counted” Sinhala parents would “starve” to save enough to buy some “perches” of land, how many, depended on the “fairness” of their foal or filly. One perch would be sufficient if their offspring was “way-off”. Tamil families depended much more on gold & jewellery. Well-off Tamil women wore so much gold, it practically bent them over, poor things!. Burgher folk, well, according to Des., we fell into love or lust, as the case maybe, no dowries, no nothing, we “managed” until we “fell off the.PERCH”, So much for our land owners, which reminds me of something else, that will “fit” well in here.

A couple of little reminders to “Wikipedia”.

1. When our so-called “bloggers” wrote their “pieces”, they “paint the picture” of Maureen Hingert, our worthy “Beauty Queen” of 1955, who proceeded to America to become the 2nd runner-up to Miss Sweden in the Miss Universe in 1956. True, she was a worthy representative of Ceylon, at the time and I fully agree.
Then, comes the “story” of her dad, Leslie Hingert, who was supposed to be the President of a Bank over there, in Ceylon, OWNED several Tea Estatates, and that the “family” resided in a huge “Mansion” in Lorensz Road, Colombo, etc., etc.,(all bloody rubbish).

Thank you “Wiki”, Yes, we both lived in “Tenement-Mansions” in Lorensz Road, Bambalapitiya, Colombo, Maureen, at Number 10 & “yours truly” at Number 38.
Maureen’s dear dad was a humble Clerical Officer for the Ceylon Army, at the time & my dear dad was just as humble and a Bank Clerk with the Mercantile Bank in Colombo Fort. My family did not own any tea estates, we DID own a few “tea-cups” & drank “plain-tea” at times when we couldn’t afford the milk. More of these startling “facts” will appear in my autobiography ( when I finish the bloody thing) for eLanka.

2. When the name Desmond Kelly is “googled” a good-looking New Zealand “Actor” springs to the screen. I have got nothing against that. There are plenty of Desmond Kelly’s around, but THIS one has MY details, the fact that I am a muscian from Sri Lanka etc., all good. Wikipedia is supposed to re-check all these details from time to time, and this particular Desmond Kelly’s details should appear where it needs to be. “Wake-up, Wikipedia”. With all the modern friggin’ “technology” around, one would think that mistakes such as these should never occur.

Anyway, “back, where I started again”(another original composition of mine), lyrics & music available thru eLanka for any GOOD “male Country-Singer” wanting to record a superb Country song, (knock off the bloody ads., Kelly & get on with the Same-Sex Story) o.k, o.k., get your jock-straps into place, get a Manager & stop handling yourself, have patience.

Now, because of Government Ministers who are “dual-citizens”(their grandfathers never told them that they, the Ministers, were also “registered” Citizens of Timbuctoo, for example,), &, as such, “you lot will not even be allowed to walk thru the hallowed doors of “the House”, even though Annabel Crabb (a real- good-looking dinkum Aussie Shielah is on the premises at the moment, doing her “show”).

Last, but by no means least, is this question of same-sex people suddenly wanting to get “married”.
As I’ve said (and written) before, homosexuality has been going on since Adam was a young lad. Now, there is absolutely nothing to hide if you are seen to be homosexual. Some of the nicest people I have known have been homosexuals. Around 52% or half of the man-woman marriages have ended “on the damn rocks”anyway. For the life of me, I cannot see why homosexuals want to follow this trend, get married & then part company. O.K., everyone knows that either two guys or two gals are living together. If they are happy with this defacto- type relationship, why spoil it.by getting married?. It has only been a short while since homosexuals, bisexuals, trans-sexuals & lesbians have been able to “come-out” & “show-off” their sexuality. I don’t mind this at all, guys (& gals), but try not to “flaunt” the fact that you are, in fact, homosexuals or Lesbians. You really don’t have to do this. What also annoys me is the fact that I cannot tell which one of the partners (of the guys), is the husband and which one is the wife.,& which one (of the gals), is the “butch” partner & which one is the “wife of the butch”. Try, as I might, I cannot find the opposite of the English word for “butch”. I can make one up, but i am afraid that it will not sound too good. The “Wedding advertisements” on television are also a little bit “over the top”. The World is certainly in a spin, at the moment. Only the “normal” Man-Woman weddings of the very rich, get any sort.of T.V. coverage, simply because television stations charge like wounded bulls to “cover” them, but they probably “pay” the”same-sex” couples to pose for them. I might be “simple” but I am “straight” & cannot understand these things. Before I go, I will probably vote “yes” in my postal vote & hope it gets to it’s destination by “snail-mail”, in time, as Australia Post leaves a lot to be desired nowadays, It doesn’t matter what Tony Abbot says, good luck to Homosexuals & Lesbians everywhere.
With that said, I do advise my Lankan/Aussie friends to try their best to cultivate “ARRANGED SAME-SEX- MARRIAGES” for their children. if the children are so-inclined. Don’t worry about Dowries & things, because today’s children tend to be wealthier than their parents
BUT, that is another story.