“SOCK IT TO ME”! by Desmond Kelly ‘the Star of eLanka’

A well- known phrase from the 50’s. I remember it vividly. In the days of Bill Haley & his “Comets”, a very clever “Group” name, rather than names such as the “Sex-Pistols,”, & “Hoobastank” which stank to the heavens, names such as the “Semi-tones”was wisely chosen because this “group”, of which “your’s truly” was the leader, knew full-well that, as they grew older and became even more popular? , than most of the other “groups” around at the time, they would have to sing their songs a “semi-tone” lower, unless they wanted to “yodel”.

     The “Semi-tones”, in case you were now wondering who the hell they were, not necessarily in order of merit, were Charley Schokman, Rogan Kelly, Conrad de Silva & Desmond Kelly. Charley Schokman who now resides in London, was the “bass-tone”, Rogan Kelly was the “counter-tenor” (tone), Conrad de Silva was the main “tenor-harmony”(tone) & “your’s truly”was the “barima-baritone lead singer. We were the “Semi-tones”, the BEST-KNOWN “Showbiz-Group” in Ceylon of the 1950’s  all because of a song called “Dream-World”, a song written during the early hours of one particular morning (took me about 45 minutes to write it), following a rather all-inclusive “dream” about a future “beauty-queen” who lived at the top of Lorensz Road, Bambalapitita, who was the “puppy-love” of my life at the time. WHY do you digress, all the time, Des?, What the hell has all this got to do about “Socks”?.

     Well, I am telling the story, so if you don’t want to read it, go jump.!!  I digress because I want to thank the “blog -writer” or whatever they call themselves, of the “Internet” for putting Rogan, Conrad & myself into a couple of ” Mansions” in Lorensz Road, and the “beauty-queen” of my dream into number 10 (I think it was) into a “Mansion” right at the top of Lorensz Road, also. The “Mansions”were really all “tenement-homes” Conrad, living at No.30 & Rogan & myself at no.38.

On top of this, HER dad was supposed to have been the President of the Bank of Ceylon, so, my dad would then have been the President of the Mercantile Bank of India & I really don’t know what Conrad’s dad would have been, but I did know that he was a good “singer”.

The “beauty-queen to be” was supposed to have studied 8 (EIGHT) languages, yet the main languages of both St.Peters College & the Holy Family Convent in Bambalapitiya were just 2(TWO), English & Sinhala, & it would have been hard enough for her to learn the two., leave alone the 8 she was supposed to have learnt.

These so-called “blog” writers should know to carry out their research more thoroughly or have all their handiwork presented under the term blog-writer, less the letter “l” in the “alias”, which would more correctly make them “bog-writers”- writers.of “poo”. There are a couple of Sri Lankan “bog-writers” too, unfortunately.

     And so, finally we come back to the unfortunate story of the “sock” manufacturers. Pity the poor ladies of India & Sri Lanka who, for ages past, have been making pairs of socks for the masculine gender. Pity the poor ladies of England & the “colder” Countries who have been knitting soft woolen sox for the benumbed feet of their men. All this has got to stop now, because the latest Mens’ fashion states that they will now “parade” their “models”?, wearing shoes without socks. Models, in general, started annoying me when they (women) started emerging onto the board-walk looking as if they were in the process of starving to death, wearing beautiful clothes that stuck to their bodies as though they were pasted on. They were in a “Fashion-Parade, for crying.out loud.! Skinny “models” who would have made excellent “ones” for Bolimia, Looking for all the World as though they were “dead women walking”, not a smile on any dial, as opposed to bright happy looking women wearing gowns that accentuated the natural curves of a woman’s body instead of flattening everything to look like a plank, smiles, hair, waving naturally in the wind, not plaited down in a knot or bun, making them look like Egyptian Mummies, in other words, before I really get carried away, I would prefer them to look like the normal “mummy’s” that the “boys” would like to transform them into. These “Mummy-Models” wouldn’t rate a whistle, but that is, as I always say, my opinion.

    There is not too much to write about male “sockless”Models. I do think that this has been a cunning plan on the part of many “Shoe-makers” of the World. Today, a pair of “decent” shoes costs a bloody fortune. Every pair of shoes or boots I have ever worn in 81 years of life would totally cost perhaps the price of a couple of pairs of today’s shoes.

This is a fact.

However pricey, shoes without comfortable socks would be a definite ” no no” to any male, leave alone a male-model. So, if I was a shoe-maker,  a cobbler, or whatever, I would then cobble my shoes with a special “lining” that would take the place of a sock. My customers would then not be averse to spending a bit MORE on my shoes if they didn’t have to buy bloody matching socks to go with them, their wives or girlfriends (or boyfriends), would not be heard to grumble about smelly sox & so on. I cannot imagine it anyway . Smart young guy, superb tailored suit from wherever, shirt & tie  or bow-tie to match, a hat or cap to hide especially groomed hair, coming down to really expensive shoes with a special “lining” BUT no sox at all to cover skinny ankles that look so terrible, I would never ever want to be a male-model now, even in a future life. Also, “female ankles” yet another “plus”
in the fashion-stakes, but “male ankles”?, you’ve got to be kidding me.!!
desmond kelly
Desmond Kelly
Star of eLanka.



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