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eLanka Funnies & Comedy – Words of Wisdom by Phyllis Diller  LINES FROM THE PAST Not sure who to offend so I chose lucky you  I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill. Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn’t what they had in mind. After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Jim woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman.  That’s when he realized he had made it home safely. Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40. ITS A BOY” I shouted “A BOY, I DON’T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY”. And with tears streaming down my face I swore I’d never visit another Thai Brothel! I’ve accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.  My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my ...