PIPINGER - by Des Kelly

PIPINGER – by Des Kelly

In the Ceylon of my youth, one of the first little poems, recited was, “What’s your name ?, sugar-cane,

where do you live, ?, down the lane,

what’s your number, ?, cucumber,

what’s your age, ?, sausage.!, remember it, folks ?. How simple was our life, those days ?. When I first met a little Sinhalese girl, who used to accompany me to the Convent of Our Lady Of Victories, in “Moratu-mulla”(the corner of Moratuwa), I asked her, her name, and she said”Suranganee” Even with the fantastic memory I still possess, I cannot remember her Surname. We were both around the ripe old age of 5. She was an olive-skinned beauty, aptly nicknamed Murunga-karal because of her jet-black long tresses, and that is how I still remember her. Her family were all wonderful people who did not converse in English at all, but I do remember that it was because of this very family that I became interested in the Sinhala language. I would have married Murunga-karal, but we were both a little too young at the time.

A few years later, in Lorensz Road, Bambalapitiya, I remember asking another very pretty young lass, “What is your name ?, and without hesitation, she replied “Sugar-cane”. Then, it was her turn. “Where do you live”?, and I was so flabbergasted, I completely forgot the number “38” and replied, “Down the lane”. Because we were so poor, a telephone was unthinkable, but I then asked her, her number, and she said “Cucumber”, or ‘Pipinger’ as the Sinhalese called it. I was then, all of 15, got a bit riled and said “What’s your age?, she promptly replied, “Sausage”!, or “lingus”, as it was known in Sinhala. This is a true story, and this is how the little “kavia”(poem) really started. Talking about “ug-gus”, or Sugar-cane, which was my first query of Maureen Hingert, sooo many years ago (it was 1949/50, or thereabouts), this large plant from the “Cane-family” was readily available to both of us from the “Kovilla” right next to Lorensz Road, especially at the “weil, or veil, take your pick”, Ceremony, held every year. Neliya & Desmond too, loved sugar-cane, cost nearly nothing to buy, so very enjoyable to quickly peel the green skin off the short lengths of the cane, and then bite off & chew the sugary juice off, spitting out the remnants, to go over the same procedure “over & over again” (as is, the title of another great song).

There is another Sinhala adage which says, or asks,

“Koyathe yan-nay,?, mul-lay pol!!”, meaning, where are we going ?, coconut in the basket. What the bloody coconut has to do with the question, is anybody’s guess, but my reason for the question,is, this story has nothing to do with Sugar-cane, Lorensz Road, or friggin Sausages, for that matter, but everything to do with Neliya’s telephone number or, if that is unavailable, the superb salad vegetable called the Cucumber. I am willing to bet that most of my readers would not know the many advantages of this simple “vegi”, so, apart from what I would “use” it on certain people, please make note of everything a “PIPINGER” could be used for.

>> 1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.
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>> 2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.
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>> 3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.
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>> 4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.
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>> 5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a
>> Few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!
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>> 6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!
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>> 7. Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers
>> have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.
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>> 8. Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don’t have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.
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>> 9. Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge? Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!
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>> 10.Stressed out and don’t have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa? Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.
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>> 11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don’t have gum or mints? Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the phytochemicals will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.
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>> 12. Looking for a ‘green’ way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel? Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won’t leave streaks and won’t harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.
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>> 13. Using a pen and made a mistake? Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls!!