Who thinks this stuff up! – By Des Kelly

 

Who thinks this stuff up! – By Des Kelly

English has always been a strange, but interesting language. In this particular instance, the prose is solely intended for readers to have a bit of fun, with. From time to time, quotes such as these have come into Facebook, quite a few, not fit to be published, because of the coarse “lingo”involved. As everyone knows, or should know, this writer has never been a “wowser”, swears with the best of them, and will write “HARD”, when I have to, but somehow, do not like to see epithets, four letter words etc., in print.

     eLanka readers especially, deserve better, and in this article, “Who thinks this stuff up”, they get it, much better than an article titled “Who thinks this is A stuff-up, I suppose.
Desmond Kelly
 Desmond Kelly.
 (Editor-in-Chief) eLanka.

Who thinks this stuff up?

• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist

• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Typo.

• I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

• I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop
any time.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned
on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d
never met herbivore.

• When chemists die, they barium.

• I’m reading a book about antigravity. I just can’t put it down..

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

• I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because
she couldn’t control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• Broken pencils are pointless.

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A
thesaurus.

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro: what a rip off!

• Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

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