“DEFINITELY DIFFERENT DEFINITIONS” – By Des Kelly
Sent in specifically for e’Lanka, by Keith Bennett, for which we thank him, are the above “D”s, all three of them.
Just shows what can be done with this superb language (ENGLISH), that is now becoming even more important in both Sri Lanka and Australia, where there are Drastic multitudes of Damned languages to cope with, (believe me),my alias is Desperate Des,
this Daft, Deadly, Definitely, Different,
Description of Definitions is both Demure and Dear, to DISCUSS. So here they are folks, in all their Distinguished
Disguises.
Desmond Kelly.
(Editor-in-Chief) e’Lanka.
New definitions
The Washington Post’s Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The winners are:
- Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
- Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
- Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
- Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
- Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the literature:
- Ignoranus (n): A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
