“PUNS ARE FUN, TWO” – By Des Kelly The ability to make and understand “puns” is considered to be the highest level of language development. Many moons ago, I had some fun with another article on “puns” 1, so naturally, I would title this one “Puns are fun, two”. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead racoons. The stewardess looks at him and says “I am sorry,.Sir, only one carrion allowed, per passenger”. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, “Dam”!. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were feeling chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, “I’ve lost my electron”. The other asks, “are you sure”?, The first replies, “yes, I’m positive”. ...
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Country Roads – By Des Kelly Sent to me, this arvo (6th Sept, 2018), by my good friend Charles Schokman, this video clip of a great Country song, written by Taffy Nivert & Bill Danoff, with, not only an input of his great songwriting, but also his tremendous popularity as a “Country-Icon”, none other than John Denver, this, my friends, is simply another “love-story” told Country-style, by many “greats” gathered together, telling us of a different, but equally important story about the love of one’s Country. As I have said, and written so often, no music can convey feelings of patriotism, love, happiness & heartbreak, in fact, every human emotion, like Country Music. This particular “clip” is different, in that it combines “Country Roads” with the spectacular later “Hit”, “I will always love you” sung by Dolly Parton, to end this fabulous offering. Many of my readers “on-line” ...
Sep 17, 2018
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WE’LL MEET AGAIN – By Des Kelly Too often forgotten, sometimes, are a few talented individuals, especially from the “Ceylon” of old. The talents I speak of, are manifold. In my time, just to name a few of the various characters, there were several “teachers” such as a British Nun, Mother Brittall, in my very first School, the Convent of Our Lady of Victories, Moratuwa, who was both the librarian & entertainment producer, a highly intelligent woman who, not only taught me the value of books, in general, but also saw the raw talent hidden in the person of a very young male student in an all-girl school, spoke to the Mother Directress (Seetha), to help her get this young man on-stage for the first time at the ripe old age of five, to sing his first “solo” song. Mother Brittall was indeed, a very talented producer who ...
Sep 16, 2018
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A”POSSUM-PERFORMANCE” – By Des Kelly A fairly common marsupial of Australia, which has no less than 9 different species. Cute, clever, cuddley little creatures that cannot be kept as pets, still exist quite well in the wild, will not attack man or beast unless threatened themselves, but will encroach into human habitat sometimes in order to feed themselves and their families when the going gets tough in the forests that are being “eaten-into” by humans, hungry, not for food, but, for WOOD. ...
Sep 11, 2018
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DON’T STOP, OLIVIA – By Des Kelly Photo Source: Biography She has everything that it takes to be the Super-Star that she truly is. Born in Cambridge England, on the 26th of September 1948, this typical “English-beauty-rose” migrated with her family to Australia in 1953. She was just five years old and immediately made Australia her home. Right from the very start, this young lady typified a natural beauty that, together with the musical talent she possessed from a very early age, made her stand out as a potential “show-biz Star” in the making. Olivia Newton John, the Star, began to “shine” in old Melbourne Town, a beautiful City that unfortunately, was always classified as 2nd to Sydney, Australia, in the “show-biz-scene”, of that particular era, anyway. She attended School in Melbourne, becoming very popular among her schoolmates.This was simply because she could already sing those popular ...
Sep 11, 2018
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Tagged Barry Gibb, Cliff Richard, John Easterling, Knights of the Crown, Matt Lattanzi, Olivia Newton John
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SONS & DAUGHTERS – By Des Kelly Sons & daughters of the “Stars”. Fascinating subject about the “apples that fall closest to the tree”. Recently, in a series of articles I have written about this very subject, I chose to feature not one, but THREE sons of the late, great Merle Haggard, Marty, Noel, & young Ben, who, not only resemble “The Hag” as he was called, but also sing & play guitar (as Ben does), with a talent born & bred, naturally, in them. Strangely, as the story goes, Merle did not have too much time to spend with these talented boys, as they grew up. He was too busy “on the road” & when, not touring, he was too busy “getting married” & “producing” his “Haggard Hierarchy”. Merle Haggard married FIVE times. His first marriage was to Leona Hobbs, had 4 children, Dana, Marty, Kelli & Noel, ...
Sep 11, 2018
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STORIES IN SONG – By Des Kelly Strange things happen occasionally. Because of the fact that I love music in general, all types of music, but certainly music that “tells a story”, while browsing through the many CD’s I have recorded, I suddenly came across one with the “title” of the above article, containing songs that do exactly what I am talking about. They tell stories. Reminiscing on just one such personal experience, I decided to share this with all my readers of eLanka, numbering over 20.000, to date. This happened in Melbourne, Australia in the mid 70’s. I was well into my 2’nd part-time job, as an “entertainer” & “floorshow artiste”, Venue being “The Rising-Sun” Pub., in Richmond. It was a Saturday evening, my 2nd appearance in as many weeks, at the pub, a large popular one, with a “dining room” adjacent to the massive ...
Sep 4, 2018
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TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE by Des Kelly Margaret Varcoe, sister of Collingwood Magpies star Travis Varcoe (Photo Source: Nine Sports) A phrase, that takes on one of the most important decisions that EVERY Sporting Club, anywhere, should make. If it is, as termed, “a contact sport”, the “safety helmet” & the wearing of one, is paramount. “Aussie-rules” football would have to be the prime example, of a contact sport, and yet I have noticed a minimum number of players wearing head-gear, while concussion is common, especially when the game itself has become much more rough & ready nowadays. Head-clashes occur often and very sadly, it is this that ended in the fatality of a treasured sister of a Collingwood champion Travis Varcoe. Margaret Varcoe, like her brother, loved playing footy. This beautiful Aboriginal girl has just succumbed to a head-clash, suffered in the very game that she loved ...
Sep 3, 2018
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KISS ME HONEY, HONEY, KISS ME by Des Kelly An intriguing statement to an even more intriguing question. When is “honey” not “honey”?. The answer is, when it is the honey that comes from China, because, as the Chinese tell us, “you get only what you pay for”. In other words, most of the honey we Australians eat, comes from China, and if we “Bs” wish to eat the pure nectar of real bees, we have to get off our backsides and pay more money for pure honey. Capilano’s “no-go”, our Social Media tells us so. According to them, (the S.M.), our money is not well spent, we’re getting about 70%(honey),& that’s not funny!!. ...
Sep 3, 2018
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CATSTROPHY – By Des Kelly They come from Geelong, 2nd only to Melbourne, as far as Cities go, but as for Australia’s number 1 sports “magic”, A.F.L.Footy goes, the Geelong “Cats” will defeat Melbourne in their penultimate “final”, scheduled for Friday 31st of August 2018, with no trouble at all. Let the “Dons” not forget that the prophetic-phrase “3rd time lucky”is just a silly little prophecy & not much else. It is a catastrophe indeed that the little Cats are so far behind the much larger ones (“the tigers”), but, one does not have to be a mind-reader to know that whenever these felines had to play with the oval ball outside Melbourne, the inconsistency was always apparent, which made me feel that yet another catastrophe was at hand, and the Cats might have even missed the finals altogether, this year. However, apart ...
